Monday, March 1, 2010

Me and Henry VIII or 'Dear God Forgive Me, As I Am About to Lose My Head.... Literally'

Hello friends...and I do hope you really are my friends. What I am about to confess to you may test the strength of our blogging bond. If you have ever read my blog profile, you know I have a fascination obsession with all things Tudor. I have read dozens of books on Henry VIII and all his six wives and then started on Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary. My goodness those were scary times to be living in the court of the Tudor family. I can't help but be in awe of the power, opulence (always at the expense of the little people) and the total disregard for law if the current ones did not suit you. I have imagined hundreds of times what it must have been like when Henry went looking for another fertile womb to give him that son he yearned for. Too bad phones and answering machines did not exist back then. I'm sure most eligible maidens at court would have had a message something like this.." Hi, Lady Primpsalot is not home right now. Please leave a brief message and she will get back to you as soon as possible, unless this is Your Majesty, then I have gone on a year long progress (road trip) and am not sure when I will return (in other words...pick someone else as I quite enjoy wearing pearls around my neck!)" Not a good time to be pretty and available. 
So the other night after dreaming about the Tudors many times, it finally happened. I can't believe I'm telling you this.....................(she pauses and wonders if she should delete this post and just bake another pie)..................We Did It! Oh yeah, you heard me right Henry VIII and I did IT!!!!!  You know as in the biblical term he 'knows me now' or the countrified 'roll in the hay'.  First let make it very clear..it was young studly Henry, not old fat Henry. Funny..he had the same image thing as Elvis..go figure.
So here's the details...Henry just walked in the room and took me...that's it....then I woke up. I turned to hubby and said "I just had sex with Henry VIII!"  I think I heard him mumble something about 'not raising someone else's kid'.  So there you have it. I hope I have not offended any of my friends, but come on guys, it's just a dream. I would never in a million years give away my virginity just to be Queen of England ( spoken as she adjusts her tiara ).
How about you...ever had a weird dream you hesitated to tell anyone about???? Be honest!
Until next time, be kind and stay creative.

20 comments:

SmitoniusandSonata said...

first zippers and now Henry VIII! Heavens, where next...

Jennifer Juniper said...

Yep, you went there! We still love you anyway, you crazy Tudor hay rollin' dreamer!

Kelly Ann said...

you are not right!!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Now that's what I call a cool dream to have. Didn't he squash you? Or ...., err, no I won't ask.

CJ xx

w said...

um. oh wow. congratulations? on your dream.

also. the mcrib is something henry 8th would've loved. but that's probably about it. because no one else loves the mcrib. except for me, obviously.

once. i had a similar dream about gene hackman. i about cried.

janet said...

Gene Hackman...I love it!!! Thanks for being honest ;-)

Tweed Delights said...

Janet - you are incorrigible!! (I had to check the spelling!) but we love you, hehe! :D I aint saying nuthin!!

M.M.E. said...

That is hysterical! I finally had to tell my boyfriend that I had dreams about Doctor Who (who my boyfriend looks like). He found it very funny, especially when I told him I never get far in my sex dreams because my subconscious gets bored and moves on to something else.

My Life Under the Bus said...

Hahahahahaha......was that a dream or a nightmare ??? Remember their lack of running water ! I also love reading about the Tudors but truly LOATHE the thought of living like one. What a bunch of back stabbers. Ironically the picture looks like they all lost their heads !!! Love the "manty hose" look on Henry. : )

Wanda said...

It may be Fat Henry VIII next time...then what!

Audrey said...

Mentioned you on my blog today :)

Val's Filigree Fancies said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Val's Filigree Fancies said...

I am still rolling around with laughter here - I too am totally obsessed with Henry VIII and all his wives - I have read all of Phillipa Gregory's novels, each one dealing with a new queen and I too am in awe of that era. But I must say I have never seen or did "that" with him in my dreams LOLOLOLOLOLOL

ps sorry for deleting the previous post, my spelling was shocking - had to fix the typos up

Jami @ Cooke Creek said...

Oh my gosh, girl, you got me laughing hard here. I love this story. I too adore the Tudors and have always enjoyed that era of history, mostly for the clothes and formality of it all.

I can just say I haven't had the pleasure.

Jami

Annette said...

I laughed out loud!!! I had that dream with Carter of ER several years ago. It was a good dream.....

Atelier Conti said...

Good old Henry certain had his charms...at least in his early days. Wonder what a shrink would have to say about this dream! Wonder if the love child will be a boy?

Jacquelyn said...

that's hysterical, Janet! I love to dream (I mean I love to remember my dreams!) ... I usually try to find some meaning in them! Once I dreamed I went into Osama bin Laden's tent right in the middle of the desert and preached the Gospel to him. He was very polite but turned away the opportunity to become a Christian. I woke up feeling bold in my faith. I know this has nothing to do with Henry VIII but that's a dream I haven't shared with too many people! So now you know :)

Marie said...

I can hardly wait to hear the sequel to this one. I'm waiting for the paperback verion - this could be an expensive book (divorce et al). I've had weird dreams but never quite like this one.

Blissitydoodah said...

Manty hose? LOL!
I'm learning a lot over here!
Gene Hackman or Henry the 8th...tap, tap...don't know if I could choose?

The LadyBugs Garden said...

I am laughing out loud! Secret Agent.." I'm not raising someone else's kid" I love it Janet...Yes we all have werd dreams..
xoxo
Stephanie