Sunday, April 18, 2010

How to Stay Married For 35 Years...Tutorial Tuesday


DIY Day @ ASPTL
Today I'll be doing a Marriage Tutorial!
Please stay with me..the good stuff is at the end of my post.


Hello friends...Yesterday was a special day. First let me give you a little history lesson. The date of April 19th is of historical importance for many reasons.
1. In 1587 Francis Drake sunk the Spanish fleet in Cadiz harbor
2. 1770 Marie Antoinette married Louis XVI by Proxy
3. 1775 The American Revolutionary War Begins at the Battle of Lexington and Concord
4. 1861 Baltimore Riots are recognized as first bloodshed of the American Civil War
5. 1956 Actress Grace Kelly marries Prince Rainier of Monaco
So it looks like quite a few important things happened on that date. It also seems that Marie, Grace and I have something in common.........

We found the loves of our lives and dragged  danced them to the alter! Ok...maybe dragged is the wrong word...escorted  accomanied them is probably a better choice. It rained that day, but I didn't care...I was marrying the man of my dreams. Weren't we a cute couple? We initially wanted to just elope...but the parents did not like that idea.
Don't we all look so happy? I tease my mom (red dress) to this day about her Texas Big Hair..;-)
                                        
My little brother, Joey had a blast throwing rice at us....red pants Joe....Really!
It looks like I'm thinking "I'll taste it if you do" I still have those silver goblets...somewhere.
The photo on the left includes a few of my most favorite people...aunts, uncles, new in-laws, friends and at the front my beautiful high school buddy Roberta (right) and her new husband Bob(across).  Roberta and I have recently reconnected via Facebook. My three sisters (center to right..Maddy, Mary Sue, Joanne) tried their best to catch my bouquet, but my childhood buddy, Denise (left) caught it. 
                                   
 I laugh every time I see this photo...don't you love my crooked wedding cake? Can you believe I worked at that bakery...sheesh guys common already. I didn't realize 'employee discount' meant tilted cake!
Please excuse the quality of some of my photos...I'm taking photos of photos..;-) I do love the ethereal look of this one. The good Lord took pity on this bride and halted the rain just in time for a photo shoot.
This is us with my wonderful maternal grandfather Capt. Michael Mokarzel. He is where my proud Lebanese heritage comes from. He lived to over 100 years old...I miss him so much, he was a generous and kind man.
                                        
No photo-shopping back then...my gown just took on that angelic glow..not sure why. I love this shot.
So it has been 35 loving, interesting, active, exciting and all together wonderful years. Now three homes, three states and 2 grown young men later, my heart still beats faster when he kisses me. I would like to say a word about weddings. I have to smile and shake my head when I read of a young bride spending tens of thousands of dollars on her wedding.  I have been to so many high dollar weddings and the marriages didn't last two years. I'm here to tell you that what you will remember about your wedding day 40 years later will not be the prime rib you served or the roses you had flown in from Colombia, South America or the $1,000 wedding cake you custom ordered.....all of that will fade away. What you will remember is the love you shared with your friends and family...and guess what...that was totally FREE! So Happy Anniversay Mr. Empty Nest....You still have my heart...;-)

So I decided to edit my post from yesterday (April 19th) and give you bloggers a tutorial on how we did it. How did we manage to make it to year number 35 and still be going strong. Any bloggers with 20+ years can skip to the next tutorial because you already know the secret..;-)  However all you young brides and mothers who might be interested..listen up. 
1. To start with, you need to marry someone you not only love, but someone you really LIKE. Marrying your best friend gives you a great headstart to happiness.
2. Laugh together...a lot!
3. Respect (I didn't say agree) each others feelings, opinions and ideas
4. Be on the same game plan when it comes to religion, having and raising a family...talk about this BEFORE you tie the knot. I'm always amazed at couples who never talk about these subjects before they marry. 
5. Laugh ...a lot!
6. Never embarrass or criticize your spouse in public..there is a time and place for that.
7. Work hard to stay out of unnecessary debt....proven fact.. finances are the biggest reason for failed marriages. Don't buy what you can't pay for.
8. Laugh...a lot! ( do you get my drift here?)
9. If you have children...get involved with their lives and respect them, but be a parent first...they already have friends (gratitude for this usually comes when they are grown...be patient) 
10. Finally........LAUGH...LAUGH and LAUGH some more... especially as a family. Family Joy is a stronger bonding agent than any super glue or liquid nails at Home Depot. 
Bonus tip: I never was a big believer in the "Never go to bed angry" idea. There were many times when I was still mad at bedtime and not ready to call a truce just so we could sleep. In my mind when you do that, someday..somewhere, that same touchy subject is going to explode when you least expect it. So if it takes a few days to work things out...so be it. There is nothing wrong with that because...hey, you are going to have the next 35 years at least...right?
Ok...I'll get off my soapbox now...;-) Thanks Jen of Hope Studios
Until next time...be kind and stay creative.

30 comments:

Kelly Ann said...

Happy Anniversary...you guys still make a great looking couple...hugs to the Mayor and Mr. Mayor...

Tweed Delights said...

Aw, big congrats Janet! You've made me go all 'weepy', and it's only 9 am in the morning!! Have a wonderful day with your lovely hubby :) x

The Little Fox said...

Such a touching post...Happy Anniversary from the bottom of my heart...and you look gorgeous in the photos!
xoxo

Audrey said...

Happy Anniversary! I totally agree on the cost of weddings! Told the boys they should just have a summer wedding where everyone can wear shorts and we'll have a wiener roast. Works for me!
Hope you have many many more happy years together!!

Wanda said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO A LOVELY COUPLE!
♥...Wanda

Aprons and More said...

Happy Anniversary!! Best wishes always!

Katy :)

Mumsy said...

Janet, you are so sweet to become a follower of my blog. I will also be following yours. Happy Anniversary! I am looking forward to reading all your posts. Hugs!

Samantha said...

Happy Anniversary! And many, many more!

mary topelian said...

I could have inserted in my pics where yours are and would say the same of our wedding, Looked like a wonderful time and yes, the wedding is just a meir blip in the scope of a marriage, Oh and we had snow and many of the family got lost coming from Michigan to Indiana and were walking in when we were walking out....one of those stories you tell over and over. and laugh! Keep laughing, thats what it's all about. and Love! Have a wonderful Day!!!!

Danielle said...

Wow, congratulations on 35 years!!! My husband and I are a few days short of 6 months ;) I believe we will get there someday - hopefully not TOO quickly!

Sarah Knight said...

That's wonderful, I hope you have a happy anniversary!

Love the photos, my mother's wedding dress was very similar — and she had one of those hats too! Very vogue in the seventies!
(her bridesmaids wore light yellow dresses w/ light yellow hats)

: )

Marion said...

Happy Anniversary to you both, Janet. Here's to the next 35!

Atelier Conti said...

Happy anniversary Janet! The two of you were adorable! The love the photos.

Heather said...

I love seeing your wedding photos! You won't believe this...my wedding cake was crooked too! I'll find a pic and send it your way :)
Happy Anniversary...what a wonderful truth you shared at the end of your post, Janet. xoxo

Jennifer Juniper said...

Happy anniversary, Janet! Let's toast to the next 35 years :)

SewSweetStitches said...

I absolutely adore your wedding dress. So simple and elegant!

PS. your husband is a federal agent? (I'm picturing David Boreanaz on Bones!) cool!

My Life Under the Bus said...

Happy Anniversary !!! Love the pictures : )

Patty said...

Happy Anniversary! You do look absolutely heavenly!

JoeyRes said...

Such a lovely post! Happy Anniversary - I love your wedding hat!

who.knows.what.dreams.may.go said...

wonderful post, kudos on such a long marriage:) i hope to marry my best friend soon and to find the same happiness and joy you have:)

shepherdsgrace said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

This was beautifully and thoughtfully written, thank you for sharing it with us!!!!

blessings and joy!!!
Sarah

Wendy said...

Happy Anniversary! What GREAT tips you have!

w said...

congrats!

also. my hubby and i laugh a lot. doesn't matter that it's at each other because we're doing it together.

woohooo!

Jen Sue Wild said...

Janet what a dareling post..
Congrats on 35 years!!

Lori said...

Agh! Love the photos and the tutorial idea AND the tilted cake and the big hair and the grandpa and, well, I just love it. :)

Karissa said...

Thank you for sharing this! My husband and I have been married for 5 years and I'm pretty sure we are on the right track for many, many more! I love your advice about laughing! It is so true. There is no better feeling than Us and our two small children sharing a good laugh.

Congrats!!

Tweed Delights said...

Love it when you get on your soapbox Janet, hehe!! Wise words indeed - I'll be reaching my 20th anniversary this year, Gee - I sure deserve a medal!! :D

shelly said...

Happy Anniversary! May your lives be blessed aboundantly for the next 35!

haptree said...

I'm with my best friend and I 100% agree with your excellent tutorial! Congrats on your happy marriage - love the hat too!

Lauren @ My Wonderfully Made said...

LOVE all the photos -- isn't it great to look back and see how the styles have come and gone! Love the red pants too! Thanks for your lovely post!